Pause

Four years ago, Rachael O'Meara was living what seemed like the perfect life. She worked at Google, held a prestigious position that was the envy of her friends, and appeared to have it all figured out. Yet despite external success, she found herself miserable, burned out, and spinning out of control. While friends engaged in conversations around her, she remained glued to her devices, lost in emails and worries. The negative self-talk had become overwhelming, and her performance was suffering under the weight of constant mental chatter.

This scenario is increasingly common in our hyperconnected world. We live in an era where being constantly busy is worn as a badge of honor, where checking our phones 150 times a day has become normal, and where the pressure to always be "on" leaves many of us feeling depleted and disconnected from what truly matters. The author's journey from corporate burnout to renewed purpose offers a roadmap for anyone who feels trapped in the endless cycle of doing without being, working without fulfillment, and moving through life on autopilot. Through intentional pauses, we can reclaim our inner wisdom and create meaningful change in our lives.

Margaret called Rachael into the sterile conference room on a spring morning that would change everything. As her manager delivered the familiar refrain about poor performance and lack of executive presence, Rachael felt her world crumbling. "You need to be a more effective communicator," Margaret said matter-of-factly. "You need to stand behind your ideas with conviction." But no matter how many training sessions Rachael attended or how hard she tried, the feedback remained the same. She was drowning in her own negative self-talk, convinced she was failing despite her previous years of success at the company.

The breaking point came when Margaret offered a choice that felt like no choice at all. Rachael could find a new role before things got ugly, or stay and continue receiving subpar performance reviews until she was eventually let go. Walking home that Friday, she cycled through her limited options, feeling defeated and confused. How had someone who was once considered a high performer fallen so far? The answer lay not in her capabilities, but in her alignment, and more importantly, in recognizing the warning signs that had been flashing for months.

The modern workplace and our always-connected culture create perfect conditions for burnout, yet we often ignore the signals our bodies and minds send us. When we stop loving what we once enjoyed, when feedback becomes consistently negative despite our efforts, when we need interventions from friends about our relationship with technology, these are not personal failures but clear indicators that something needs to shift. Life events, whether positive or negative, also create natural pause points where we can reassess and realign.

Perhaps most tellingly, opportunities often present themselves precisely when we need them most. Rachael's conversation with her friends about Google's sabbatical program wasn't coincidental; it was life offering her a doorway to transformation. Learning to recognize these signs isn't about admitting defeat but about developing the wisdom to know when stepping back can propel us forward with greater clarity and purpose.

The weekend after her difficult conversation with Margaret, Rachael Skyped with her two best friends, Kathleen and Sue. As she explained her work debacle, she mentioned almost offhandedly that Google had a sabbatical program. The silence that followed wasn't due to technical delays but to the profound recognition that this was exactly what she needed. Sue's question resonated deeply: "What would you do if you knew you weren't going to fail?" For the first time in months, Rachael felt a spark of possibility. She wouldn't be in this job if failure wasn't an option.

This moment of clarity led to a weekend of daydreaming about possibilities. Ninety days stretched before her like a gift, offering time to recalibrate and find a new direction. When she approached Margaret with her proposal for unpaid leave, she spoke with earnest openness about needing to regroup rather than make hasty career decisions while burned out. The approval came with terms, including six weeks to find and train her replacement, but Rachael felt euphoric at having a plan, even though she had no idea what to plan.

Taking the pause plunge requires a combination of courage, risk-taking, and self-assurance. It means facing the unknown and trusting that whatever lies ahead will serve your highest good. The process begins with writing a rough draft of your current situation, including your emotions, thoughts, and beliefs without judgment. Setting clear intentions follows, focusing not on specific goals but on how you want to show up and what possibilities you want to create space for.

The key to successful pause planning lies in deep listening to your inner voice rather than filling every moment with activities. Many people make the mistake of over-scheduling their time off, missing the transformative power that comes from stillness and reflection. By leaving room for spontaneity and unexpected opportunities, we allow life to guide us toward exactly what we need, often revealing paths we never would have imagined on our own.

Kathleen's intervention came on day one of Rachael's pause as they drove across the Golden Gate Bridge toward wine country. "You spend too much time with technology," her friend said bluntly. "Every time I see you, you're checking email, working, or connected to the Internet." When Rachael asked if this was her intervention, Kathleen replied with a firm yes. She explained how Rachael had become so engrossed in digital connection that she'd forgotten how to be present with the people who mattered most. Weekends ended early on Sunday afternoons because Rachael felt obligated to prepare for Monday morning emails.

This wake-up call revealed a pattern that extends far beyond individual struggle. In our hyperconnected age, we check our phones 150 times per day and spend over ten hours daily interacting with screens. What started as tools for connection have become barriers to genuine intimacy and self-awareness. The technology that promised to bring us together often leaves us feeling more isolated than ever, placating our deeper yearnings for connection with surface-level digital interactions.

Creating daily pauses doesn't require dramatic life changes or extended time away from responsibilities. Simple practices like following your breath for one minute, engaging your five senses while walking, or implementing MicroMindfulness techniques can shift your entire day. These micro-moments of awareness help build the mental muscle needed for larger transformations while keeping you grounded in the present moment.

Digital device pauses offer particularly powerful opportunities for reset in our screen-saturated world. Whether it's implementing a "Tech Shabbat" one day per week, creating device-free bedrooms, or simply setting boundaries around screen time, these intentional disconnections allow space for authentic connection with ourselves and others. The goal isn't to demonize technology but to use it consciously rather than letting it use us, creating rhythms that honor both our need for connection and our need for stillness.

As Rachael's three-month pause drew to a close, an unexpected opportunity presented itself: Burning Man. Initially dismissive of spending her birthday week camping in the Nevada desert with seventy thousand strangers, she found herself increasingly drawn to the idea. The annual festival represented everything her pause had been building toward: radical self-reliance, creative expression, and intentional community. Against her initial instincts, she said yes to what would become a transformative week that crystallized everything she'd learned during her time away.

The desert experience revealed new possibilities for living and being that she'd never considered. Surrounded by larger-than-life art installations and people fully present and engaged with life, Rachael discovered parts of herself that had been dormant. The experience influenced not only her remaining weeks of pause but her entire job search strategy. She returned with a clear sense of purpose: to be present, engaged, and connected in all her interactions. This clarity guided her decisions and conversations as she prepared to reenter the working world.

Extended pauses, whether funded by employers or self-funded, offer unique opportunities for deep transformation. The key lies not in elaborate planning but in creating space for unexpected experiences and connections. Like astronauts returning from space, those coming back from extended pauses need time and intentionality to integrate their experiences into daily life. The goal isn't to return unchanged but to bring the insights and growth gained during the pause into whatever comes next.

The most successful extended pauses balance structure with flexibility, allowing both for intentional exploration and spontaneous discovery. They require letting go of the need to control outcomes while remaining open to opportunities that align with your emerging sense of purpose. Whether the pause leads to career changes, relationship shifts, or simply a renewed approach to existing responsibilities, the time invested in stepping away creates lasting transformation that ripples through every aspect of life.

When people asked Rachael what she planned to do after her pause, the question initially drove her crazy. The awkward silences that followed her honest admission of not knowing felt uncomfortable, but over time, she learned to embrace these moments as opportunities for authentic connection. Her response evolved from defensive uncertainty to genuine sharing about the process of alignment and self-discovery. These conversations often sparked meaningful exchanges about purpose, fulfillment, and the courage to make changes when life feels off track.

The reentry process requires the same intentionality as the initial pause decision. Like astronauts returning from space, those coming back from meaningful pauses need time to integrate their experiences and insights into daily life. This isn't about dramatic external changes but about bringing the internal shifts gained during the pause into existing or new circumstances. The quality of how you approach your life and work matters more than whether the specific activities change.

Building sustainable practices from pause experiences means identifying specific takeaways and creating systems to maintain them. Whether it's continuing daily mindfulness practices, maintaining boundaries around technology use, or approaching relationships with greater vulnerability and authenticity, the key lies in consistent application of insights gained during the pause. Small, regular actions compound over time to create lasting transformation.

The true measure of a successful pause isn't in the external changes it creates but in the internal alignment it fosters. When we learn to recognize our deeper yearnings and develop the courage to honor them, we create a foundation for ongoing growth and satisfaction. This might mean staying in the same job but approaching it differently, or it might mean pursuing entirely new directions. Either way, the pause experience provides a reference point for continued alignment and the confidence to make future adjustments when needed.

The power of pause lies not in escaping our lives but in engaging with them more consciously and authentically. Through intentional breaks from our usual patterns, whether lasting moments or months, we create space to hear our inner wisdom and align our actions with what truly matters. These pauses become transformative when we approach them with curiosity rather than rigid plans, allowing room for unexpected insights and connections to emerge.

The modern world's relentless pace makes pausing feel counterintuitive, even irresponsible, yet this very resistance signals how desperately we need these breaks. By learning to recognize the signs that indicate when pauses are needed, developing the courage to step away from familiar patterns, and creating sustainable practices for integrating insights into daily life, we can transform not only our own experiences but also model a different way of being for others. The pause becomes a gift not just to ourselves but to everyone whose lives we touch, creating ripples of consciousness and authenticity in a world hungry for genuine connection and meaning.