Get Off Your "But"

From the moment Sean Stephenson entered the world on May 5, 1979, with nearly every bone in his tiny body broken by the trauma of birth, he faced odds that would have defeated most people before they even began. Born with osteogenesis imperfecta, a genetic disorder causing extreme bone fragility, Sean's early days were filled with medical uncertainty and predictions of a severely limited future. Yet what emerged from those early struggles was not a story of limitation, but one of extraordinary human resilience and purpose.

Sean's journey from a pain-filled childhood to becoming a renowned therapist, motivational speaker, and author offers profound insights into the nature of human potential. His experiences reveal how physical challenges can become catalysts for developing unshakeable inner strength, how early adversity can forge compassion that heals others, and how refusing to accept society's limitations can lead to a life of remarkable impact. Through his work with presidents, his therapeutic practice, and his global speaking career, Sean demonstrates that our greatest perceived weaknesses often contain the seeds of our most significant contributions to the world.

Sean Stephenson's entry into the world was nothing short of traumatic. The delivery room fell silent as medical professionals witnessed a newborn whose body had been ravaged by the birthing process. With arms and legs that moved like a rag doll's and a severely misshapen skull, baby Sean presented a medical crisis that left doctors preparing his parents for the worst. The diagnosis came quickly: osteogenesis imperfecta, commonly known as brittle bones disorder, a condition that made even the gentlest touch potentially devastating.

The first weeks of Sean's life were spent in intensive care, where the slightest movement could result in fractures. His cries were not the typical fussing of an infant, but sounds of genuine agony that echoed through the hospital corridors both day and night. Medical staff constructed a miniature cast that encased most of his body, propping him on a pillow with limbs extended straight out, earning him the nickname "King Tut" after the museum exhibit that had just opened in Chicago.

During these critical early days, Sean's parents made a decision that would shape the trajectory of his entire life. When a nurse arrived with medication to dry up his mother's breast milk, assuming she wouldn't want to nurse "a baby like that," his mother refused. This moment marked the beginning of their unwavering commitment to seeing Sean not as a collection of medical problems, but as their beloved son with unlimited potential. Their refusal to accept limitations or engage in "what if" thinking created the foundation for Sean's later philosophy of rejecting excuses and embracing possibility.

As Sean grew, every milestone required adaptation and creativity. Instead of crawling in the traditional sense, he developed his own method called "scootching," using his shoulders and rear to move across the floor like a slow but determined snail. Sitting up independently was beyond his physical capabilities for years, making even basic childhood activities an exercise in problem-solving and perseverance. Yet these early adaptations taught him resourcefulness and determination that would serve him throughout his life.

The constant hospital visits and interactions with other patients provided Sean with perspective that many healthy children never develop. Surrounded by individuals facing far more severe challenges, including those with third-degree burns over most of their bodies or complete paralysis requiring ventilators, Sean learned early that his condition, while significant, was not the most devastating fate possible. This exposure to human suffering and resilience planted the seeds of empathy that would later flourish in his therapeutic work.

The transformation from a child defined by medical limitations to one driven by purpose occurred during a pivotal moment when Sean was nine years old. Halloween had always held special meaning for him as the one day when everyone looked different, allowing him to blend into crowds without the usual stares and pointing from strangers. On this particular Halloween morning in 1988, Sean's excitement about his mummy costume led him to roll around on the floor in celebration, resulting in a fractured femur when his leg caught on a door frame.

As Sean lay on his living room floor in excruciating pain, facing the prospect of being bedridden for weeks and missing his favorite holiday, his mother asked a question that would alter the course of his life: "Sean, is this going to be a gift or a burden?" In that moment of intense physical and emotional pain, something extraordinary happened. A warm sensation of clarity washed over him, bringing with it a profound realization about his life's purpose. He understood that he had always found ways to love his existence despite the pain, and more importantly, that he was meant to teach others how to do the same.

This revelation was accompanied by another piece of wisdom from his mother that became a cornerstone of Sean's philosophy: "Pain is inevitable. Eventually, it touches us all. Suffering, however, is optional." This distinction between unavoidable pain and chosen suffering provided Sean with a framework for understanding human experience that would later inform his therapeutic approach and speaking career.

The Halloween incident marked the end of Sean's victim mentality and the beginning of his recognition that his challenges could serve a greater purpose. Rather than focusing on what his condition prevented him from doing, he began to see how his experiences with pain, adaptation, and resilience could benefit others facing their own struggles. This shift from self-pity to service became the foundation for everything that would follow in his remarkable life.

By his teenage years, Sean had accumulated over two hundred bone fractures, each one a lesson in pain management and mental resilience. He developed natural meditation and visualization techniques out of necessity, learning to control his focus and emotional state without formal training. These self-discovered coping mechanisms later proved to be sophisticated psychological tools that he would refine and teach to others.

The realization that his physical pain, while intense, was often less torturous than the emotional pain of isolation and missed opportunities taught Sean to distinguish between different types of suffering. Watching friends play on the playground while he sat at classroom windows became as challenging as any broken bone, yet these experiences of longing and exclusion deepened his understanding of human nature and his commitment to helping others overcome their own barriers.

Sean's path to becoming a therapist and motivational speaker was neither direct nor predictable. His initial career trajectory pointed toward politics, a field where his natural leadership abilities and communication skills had already distinguished him. During high school, Sean excelled in student government and television production, creating his own sitcom series and winning recognition at Columbia College's Video Festival. His political aspirations reached their peak when he was elected governor of Illinois Boys State and selected for the prestigious Boys Nation program.

The connection with President Bill Clinton that began at Boys Nation opened doors to internships and experiences that seemed to solidify Sean's political future. Working on Capitol Hill for Congressman William O. Lipinski and later in the White House Cabinet Affairs office provided him with insider access to power and policy-making. These experiences taught him valuable lessons about leadership, communication, and the art of connection that would later inform his therapeutic work.

However, life had different plans for Sean. As speaking opportunities began to multiply, he found himself drawn to the immediate and personal impact he could have on individuals facing their own challenges. While politics offered the possibility of large-scale change through policy and legislation, speaking provided direct, transformational encounters with people ready to change their lives. The decision to pursue professional speaking full-time required courage and faith in his ability to make a living from his unique perspective and hard-won wisdom.

The transition from politics to psychology was catalyzed by Sean's recognition that motivation alone was insufficient to create lasting change in people's lives. After numerous speaking engagements where audience members approached him with serious personal crises, including self-harm, sexuality issues, and suicidal ideation, Sean realized he needed deeper training to serve people effectively. This led him to enroll in multiple institutions, earning board certifications in psychotherapy and neuro-linguistic programming.

Opening his private practice marked Sean's full evolution from someone defined by his physical limitations to a healer and guide for others struggling with their own barriers. His unique perspective, combining lived experience with professional training, created a therapeutic approach that resonated with clients facing seemingly impossible challenges. The combination of his political communication skills, speaking experience, and psychological training created a practitioner uniquely equipped to help others break through their self-imposed limitations.

Sean's concept of "BUTS" represents one of his most significant contributions to personal development philosophy. These "BUTS" are the cushy excuses people rest on when they want to quit, the mental barriers disguised as reasonable explanations for inaction. Sean identified three primary categories that prevent people from achieving their goals: BUT fears, BUT excuses, and BUT insecurities. Each category represents a different aspect of self-sabotage that keeps individuals stuck in patterns of limitation and unfulfillment.

BUT fears typically manifest as "what if" scenarios that paralyze decision-making and action-taking. Sean recognized that most fears are simply false experiences appearing real, mental movies of worst-case scenarios that rarely materialize in actual experience. Through his work, he developed techniques to help people scramble these fear patterns by systematically examining alternative outcomes and questioning the validity of catastrophic thinking.

BUT excuses represent imaginary resource limitations that people use to rationalize inaction. Whether claiming lack of time, money, energy, or other resources, these excuses mask deeper truths about what individuals really want or fear. Sean's approach involves helping people recognize that the stated excuse is rarely the real barrier, encouraging honest self-examination of underlying motivations and resistance patterns.

BUT insecurities attack self-worth directly, convincing people they are not attractive enough, smart enough, or talented enough to deserve success or happiness. These internal messages create self-fulfilling prophecies that sabotage efforts before they begin. Sean's work in this area focuses on helping people understand how beliefs form and how to consciously choose empowering beliefs that support rather than sabotage their goals.

The genius of Sean's "BUT" framework lies in its simplicity and universality. Regardless of background, education, or circumstances, virtually everyone can identify with sitting on their BUTS in some area of life. This common experience creates immediate connection and understanding, making Sean's message accessible to diverse audiences worldwide. His approach doesn't minimize legitimate challenges but rather focuses on what remains possible despite those challenges.

The cornerstone of Sean's philosophy centers on his Freedom Formula: C > E, where Cause is greater than Effect. This simple equation represents a profound shift in how individuals can approach their lives and circumstances. Living at Cause means taking full responsibility for everything attracted into one's life, both positive and negative, while living at Effect involves blaming external circumstances for current conditions and outcomes.

Sean's near-death experience during a kidney stone episode provided him with a visceral understanding of this principle's importance. Lying in a hospital emergency room, believing he might die, Sean experienced what felt like a complete life review in the theater of his mind. This profound experience showed him both the people he had loved and the dreams he had left unrealized, creating an urgent desire for another chance to live more fully and purposefully.

The distinction between living at Cause versus Effect is not about fault or blame for traumatic experiences beyond one's control. Rather, it concerns how individuals choose to respond to circumstances in the present moment. Sean uses the metaphor of cleaning up trash that others have left in your yard to illustrate this principle. While you may not be responsible for others littering in your space, you are responsible for deciding whether to clean it up or leave it to attract more refuse.

Living at Cause requires releasing the drug-like comfort of self-pity and victim thinking. While these mental states provide temporary relief and sympathy from others, they ultimately keep people stuck in patterns that prevent growth and positive change. Sean's approach involves helping people recognize the seductive nature of victim consciousness while providing tools and frameworks for embracing personal power and responsibility.

The practical application of living at Cause involves shifting focus from what is happening to you toward what you are creating and attracting through your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. This perspective transforms challenges from external obstacles into internal opportunities for growth, learning, and conscious evolution. When individuals embrace this mindset, they discover reserves of power and possibility they never knew existed.

Sean Stephenson's extraordinary life demonstrates that our perceived limitations often contain the seeds of our greatest contributions to the world. From a childhood defined by broken bones and medical uncertainty, Sean forged a philosophy of unshakeable resilience that has impacted millions of people globally. His journey reveals that taking full responsibility for our responses to life's challenges, regardless of their origin, is the key to transforming obstacles into opportunities for service and growth.

The most powerful lesson from Sean's story lies in his refusal to let physical limitations define his possibilities or purpose. By choosing to live at Cause rather than Effect, focusing on what he could contribute rather than what he lacked, Sean created a life of profound meaning and impact. His teachings remind us that while we cannot control everything that happens to us, we retain absolute authority over how we choose to respond, and in that choice lies our power to create lives of extraordinary purpose and fulfillment.