Who Not How

Picture this: you're staring at a massive goal that excites and terrifies you in equal measure. Maybe it's launching that business idea you've been dreaming about, writing a book, or completely transforming your career. Your first instinct? Probably asking yourself, "How am I going to do all of this?" But what if that question is actually sabotaging your success before you even begin?

Research shows that 85-95% of people are chronic procrastinators, especially when facing ambitious goals. The reason isn't lack of willpower or motivation—it's that we've been conditioned to believe we must figure out every step ourselves. This mindset doesn't just slow us down; it keeps us small, stressed, and stuck in mediocrity. The most successful entrepreneurs, artists, and leaders throughout history understood a different approach entirely. Instead of asking "How?" they learned to ask "Who?" This simple shift in questioning transforms impossible dreams into inevitable realities, and it's exactly what this book will teach you to master.

When you encounter a challenging goal, your brain automatically defaults to "How do I do this?" This question seems logical, but it's actually a trap that leads to procrastination, overwhelm, and limited results. The "How" mindset forces you to rely solely on your current knowledge and capabilities, essentially capping your potential at what you already know.

Consider Michael Jordan's journey to greatness. During his first six years in the NBA, Jordan was undeniably talented but couldn't win a championship. He was asking the wrong question—"How can I carry this team to victory?"—instead of recognizing he needed the right "Whos." Everything changed when the Chicago Bulls added Scottie Pippen as a collaborator and Phil Jackson as coach. Suddenly, Jordan had teammates who could execute a team-based strategy, and his individual brilliance could flourish within a system designed for collective success.

The transformation was remarkable. Jordan went from playoff disappointments to six championships, becoming arguably the greatest basketball player of all time. But here's the crucial insight: his legendary status wasn't achieved through isolated effort—it was the result of asking "Who can help me achieve this?" instead of trying to figure out how to do everything himself.

The "Who" approach works because it immediately multiplies your capabilities. When you find the right person to handle what you can't or shouldn't do, you're not just delegating tasks—you're accessing their years of experience, their networks, their specialized skills, and their passion for work that might drain your energy. This shift from "How" to "Who" is the foundation of all extraordinary achievement.

Start practicing this mental shift today. The next time you face a challenge or goal, catch yourself before asking "How?" and immediately reframe it as "Who can help me with this?" You'll be amazed how quickly solutions appear when you ask the right question.

Procrastination isn't a character flaw—it's actually wisdom in disguise. When you find yourself avoiding a goal or project, your subconscious is telling you something important: this objective is worthy and exciting, but you're not the right person to handle every aspect of it. The frustration you feel isn't about the goal itself; it's about trying to force yourself into roles that don't fit your strengths.

Richie Norton experienced this revelation at sixteen when he wanted to earn money over summer break. His initial plan was working a minimum-wage job at a grocery store, but when he shared this with his father, his dad became a "Who" by suggesting a completely different approach. Instead of trading time for money, his father proposed buying irregularly shaped watermelons that farms couldn't sell and reselling them to neighbors before July 4th. This single conversation transformed months of minimum-wage labor into a few hours of profitable entrepreneurship.

The key insight here is that "How" is linear and slow, while "Who" is exponential and immediate. When Richie asked his father for guidance, he instantly accessed decades of entrepreneurial thinking and experience. He didn't need to spend years learning business principles—he just needed the right Who at the right moment.

To transform your own procrastination into progress, first create radical clarity about what you want to achieve. Use specific, measurable language to describe your goal and why it matters deeply to you. The clearer your vision, the easier it becomes to communicate it to potential Whos who might help you achieve it.

Next, immediately ask yourself: "Who can help me accomplish this goal?" Don't overthink this question or convince yourself that no one would want to help. There are people everywhere who have the skills you lack and who would find genuine satisfaction in contributing to your vision. Your job is to find them and clearly communicate how they can be part of something meaningful.

Building an effective team isn't about finding people to do the work you don't want to do—it's about assembling individuals whose unique abilities complement yours and who are genuinely excited about the vision you're creating. The most successful collaborations happen when each person feels like they're contributing their greatest strengths to something bigger than themselves.

Dean Jackson discovered this principle when he hired Mandy to clean his Orlando condo. Rather than just accepting basic housekeeping, Dean asked Mandy if she'd be interested in making his home "one-week ready" every time he returned from business trips. This meant having his car washed, laundry done, refrigerator stocked, and everything perfectly organized. Mandy loved the expanded role because it allowed her to use more of her organizational skills and creativity, while Dean gained complete freedom from domestic logistics.

This arrangement worked beautifully because Dean approached it as a collaboration, not just a transaction. He considered what would make Mandy's work more interesting and valuable to her, while solving his need for a completely organized living environment. Both parties benefited and grew from the relationship.

When building your dream team, start by clearly defining the vision and outcomes you want to create. People are attracted to compelling purposes, not just paychecks. Paint a picture of what success looks like and why it matters. Then, identify the specific roles and capabilities needed to achieve that vision.

Look for people who are not just capable, but genuinely energized by the type of work you need done. Someone who sees your project as an opportunity to develop their skills, expand their network, or contribute to something meaningful will always outperform someone who's just collecting a paycheck. Give your team members autonomy in how they achieve the results you've defined, and be prepared to be surprised by the innovative solutions they create.

The highest level of collaboration occurs in transformational relationships, where all parties grow and expand beyond what they could achieve individually. These relationships are characterized by mutual investment, where everyone gives more than they take and views the partnership as an opportunity for personal and professional evolution.

Joe Polish, founder of Genius Network, exemplifies this approach in how he connects with influential people like Richard Branson. Instead of asking "What can Richard do for me?" Joe approached their first meeting by asking "What can I do for him?" He made a significant donation to Branson's Virgin Unite charity and then proposed education-based marketing strategies to help the organization reach more donors. This value-first approach led to a lasting relationship where Branson has spoken at Joe's events and Joe has become Virgin Unite's largest fundraiser.

The key to transformational relationships is genuine care for the other person's success and growth. Joe didn't just want access to Richard Branson's network—he wanted to help Branson achieve his philanthropic goals more effectively. This abundance mindset creates a positive cycle where success builds on success for everyone involved.

To create transformational relationships in your own life, always lead with value. Before reaching out to potential collaborators, do your homework. Understand their goals, challenges, and what matters most to them. Then find genuine ways to contribute to their success before asking for anything in return.

Focus on creating win-win scenarios where your collaboration helps everyone involved reach higher levels of achievement. Be generous with credit, acknowledgment, and opportunities. When you help others succeed, they naturally want to help you succeed as well. Most importantly, stay committed to these relationships over time. The most powerful collaborations develop and compound over years, not months.

The most ambitious goals become achievable when you stop thinking about what you can accomplish alone and start envisioning what becomes possible with the right collaborative team. Strategic collaboration isn't just about getting help—it's about accessing perspectives and capabilities that expand your original vision into something far more impactful than you initially imagined.

Paul Heiss faced this reality when trade tariffs suddenly threatened his China-based manufacturing company, IBCC Industries. Instead of asking "How do we navigate this crisis?" he asked "Who can help us expand to India?" Within five months, he had established fully operational manufacturing facilities in a new country, something that would have taken years if he'd tried to figure it out himself. By finding local experts who knew Indian business culture, government officials who understood optimal locations, and consultants who could identify the best suppliers, Paul didn't just solve his immediate problem—he created a diversified business that was stronger than before.

The transformation happened because Paul was willing to trust experts in their areas of specialization. He gave them clear success criteria but complete autonomy in how they achieved those results. This approach allowed each collaborator to contribute their highest level of thinking and creativity to his vision.

Strategic collaboration requires courage to let go of control over the "how" while maintaining clarity about the "what" and "why." Create detailed vision documents that explain what success looks like and why it matters, then find people who are excited about achieving that vision in whatever way they think is best.

Start small but think big. Identify one area of your current goals where you could benefit from expert help, and invest in getting the right person involved. As you experience the acceleration and expansion that comes from strategic collaboration, you'll naturally want to apply this approach to bigger and bigger visions. The key is maintaining your focus on what only you can do while building a network of capable people who handle everything else with excellence and enthusiasm.

The journey from asking "How?" to asking "Who?" represents one of the most powerful mindset shifts you can make in your professional and personal life. As this book demonstrates through countless examples, from Michael Jordan's championship teams to entrepreneurs who've built million-dollar businesses, extraordinary results always emerge from extraordinary collaboration. The myth of the self-made individual not only limits your potential—it's simply not how the world's most successful people actually achieve their goals.

"You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want," as Zig Ziglar reminds us. This isn't just about delegation or outsourcing—it's about creating transformational relationships where everyone grows, contributes their unique strengths, and becomes part of something larger than themselves. When you shift from competition to collaboration, from scarcity to abundance, from trying to do everything yourself to building teams of capable people who share your vision, you don't just achieve your original goals—you discover possibilities you never knew existed.

Start today by identifying one goal you've been procrastinating on and ask yourself: "Who can help me accomplish this?" Write down three potential people or types of people who have the skills, connections, or experience you need. Reach out to one of them this week with a clear vision of what you want to achieve and how they could be part of that success. Your future self will thank you for making this shift from "How?" to "Who?"