Stick with It

Why do so many people struggle to stick with their goals? Whether it's maintaining a fitness routine, learning a new skill, or building better habits, the statistics are sobering: 40% of dieters quit within a week, and more than half end up weighing more than when they started. This isn't a failure of willpower or character—it's a misunderstanding of how behavioral change actually works.

Traditional advice tells us to change our mindset, develop better habits, or simply try harder. But cutting-edge research reveals that lasting change follows predictable psychological principles, like forces in physics that can either work for us or against us. By understanding these seven scientific forces—from taking the right-sized steps to harnessing the power of community—we can finally make changes that stick, whether we're trying to transform our own lives or help others change theirs.

Most approaches to change focus on changing the person rather than changing the process. We're told to become more disciplined, develop stronger willpower, or adopt the mindset of successful people. But research shows that personality doesn't change much throughout life—and fortunately, it doesn't need to. Instead, we can harness seven psychological forces that work regardless of who you are.

These forces operate like physical forces in nature. Just as engineers must understand wind, gravity, and lift to keep an airplane flying, we need to understand the psychological forces that push us toward or away from our goals. The more forces we can align in our favor, the more likely we are to succeed. Studies show that people who use these scientifically-backed methods are nearly three times more likely to achieve lasting change compared to those who rely on willpower alone.

The seven forces form the SCIENCE framework: Stepladders, Community, Important, Easy, Neurohacks, Captivating, and Engrained. Each force addresses a different aspect of human psychology, from how our brains process rewards to how social connections influence our behavior. When combined strategically, these forces create a powerful system for transformation.

Understanding these forces isn't just about personal improvement. They've been used to help thousands of people change health behaviors, overcome addictions, and achieve business goals. From helping army recruiters stay motivated in a challenging job to enabling technology addicts to regain control of their lives, the SCIENCE framework provides a reliable roadmap for change that works in any context.

The most common mistake people make when trying to change is thinking too big. They set goals like "lose 30 pounds" or "become fluent in Spanish" without breaking these dreams into manageable pieces. The stepladder principle teaches us that small means tiny—much smaller than most people realize. Research shows that our brains anchor on whatever we're focusing on, so if we're dreaming of major transformation, our "small steps" are actually still too large.

The stepladder model distinguishes between steps, goals, and dreams. Steps should take less than two days to complete. Goals should take about a week to a month. Dreams are the big visions that take more than three months or involve things you've never done before. Most people confuse these categories, trying to accomplish goals when they should be focusing on steps. This confusion leads to frustration and abandonment of the change effort.

Scientists have discovered why stepladders work so effectively. Our brains release dopamine when we achieve something, but only when the outcome exceeds our expectations. If we expect to run a marathon but only manage a mile, we feel disappointed. But if we expect to run for two minutes and succeed, our brains reward us with a chemical surge that makes us want to repeat the behavior. This neurochemical response is key to building momentum.

Community provides the social support that makes individual steps sustainable. Humans are inherently social creatures, and our brains are wired to care deeply about fitting in and gaining approval from others. Research shows that social rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain, while social connection triggers warmth and pleasure. This isn't just metaphorical—studies using brain scans prove that social pain and physical pain use identical neural pathways.

Effective communities for change have six psychological elements: trust, belonging, self-worth, social magnetism, rewards, and empowerment. The most powerful ingredient is what researchers call a "social magnet"—the feeling that others in the community are pulling you forward, making it difficult to quit even when motivation wanes. This explains why some gym buddies fail while others succeed, and why certain online communities create lasting engagement while others fizzle out.

For any change to stick, it must feel important to the person attempting it. This seems obvious, yet many people try to change things that aren't truly meaningful to them, or they haven't connected their desired change to something they deeply care about. Research consistently shows that three things matter most to humans: money, social connections, and health. Understanding which of these resonates most strongly can unlock motivation that seemed impossible to find.

Importance isn't just about identifying what matters—it's about making abstract future benefits feel real and immediate. One breakthrough study used digital aging technology to show people what they would look like at retirement age. Those who saw their older selves saved significantly more money for retirement than those who saw their current appearance. This "ghost of the future self" technique works because it makes distant consequences feel personal and urgent.

The force of Easy operates on a simple principle: people will do what's easier for them to do than not to do. This means removing barriers, not just adding motivation. Small changes in environment can create large changes in behavior. Studies show that people eat more when food is visible and accessible, exercise more when gyms are nearby, and form friendships with people who live closest to them. The key is controlling your environment rather than relying on willpower.

Making something captivating means creating genuine rewards, not just any rewards. The brain responds differently to intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. While external rewards like money or points can work temporarily, they often backfire if they replace something the person already enjoyed. The most effective rewards satisfy psychological needs: autonomy, competence, social connection, or personal growth. This explains why simple gamification often fails while well-designed reward systems create lasting engagement.

Captivating also involves two specific techniques: the Quick Fix and the Trick Fix. The Quick Fix provides immediate positive feedback right after the desired behavior, helping the brain connect the action with the reward. The Trick Fix uses intermittent reinforcement—occasionally providing rewards when least expected—which research shows is more addictive than consistent rewards. Casinos use both techniques, and you can apply the same principles to healthy behaviors.

Conventional wisdom says that behavior change starts in the mind, but neuroscience reveals the opposite: lasting change starts with action, and the mind follows. This insight forms the foundation of neurohacks—psychological tricks that reset your brain by changing what you do first, then letting your thoughts catch up. When you act differently, you begin to see yourself differently, and this new identity makes the behavior easier to maintain.

One powerful neurohack involves what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance"—the mental discomfort we feel when our actions don't match our beliefs. Rather than fighting this discomfort, we can use it strategically. If you want to become more social, start by doing social things, even in small ways. Your brain will notice this behavior and begin to think, "I must be a social person, or I wouldn't be doing these things." This self-perception change then makes future social behaviors feel more natural.

Neurohacks can be based on behavior, body movements, emotions, or speech. Even simple physical actions influence our thoughts and decisions. Research shows that people who nod their heads while listening to a message are more likely to agree with it, while those who shake their heads side-to-side become more skeptical. Similarly, writing with your dominant hand versus non-dominant hand affects confidence levels, and even fake physiological feedback can change how attractive we find other people.

The principle of "engrained" behaviors explains how actions become automatic through repetition. The human brain constantly seeks efficiency, storing frequently repeated patterns so they require less conscious thought. This is why professional athletes develop pre-performance routines, why successful people often wear similar clothes every day, and why breaking bad habits feels so difficult—these behaviors have become neurologically entrenched.

Creating new engrained patterns requires strategic repetition, ideally at the same time and place each day. This consistency helps the brain recognize the pattern as important enough to store automatically. Meditation provides an excellent example: people who meditate daily at the same time and location find it becomes as automatic as brushing their teeth. The key is making the repetition regular and predictable, so the brain can efficiently encode the new pattern and make it stick.

Not all behaviors are created equal, and different types of change require different approaches. The most sophisticated insight from behavioral science is understanding the ABC model: Automatic, Burning, and Common behaviors. Each type requires a different combination of the seven SCIENCE forces, and misidentifying the type often explains why change attempts fail.

Automatic behaviors happen without conscious awareness—things like unconsciously checking your phone, nail biting, or slouching. Because you're not aware you're doing them, forces that require conscious decision-making (like Stepladders or making something Important) won't help much. Instead, focus on Easy and Engrained forces: change your environment, use physical barriers, and create competing automatic behaviors. For nail biting, wearing gloves works better than trying to remember not to bite.

Burning behaviors are those overwhelming urges that feel impossible to resist—addictions, compulsions, or intense cravings. People are aware of these behaviors but feel powerless to stop them. This requires combining the forces used for automatic behaviors (Easy, Engrained) with those that work when you have some conscious awareness (Community, Neurohacks). Treatment programs succeed by changing environments, building strong social support, and helping people develop new identities.

Common behaviors are the everyday choices we struggle with despite being fully aware and capable—exercising regularly, eating healthily, or staying focused at work. These conscious behaviors respond well to most or all of the SCIENCE forces. The key is using multiple forces simultaneously: taking small steps (Stepladders), surrounding yourself with others doing the same thing (Community), connecting the change to what matters most (Important), removing obstacles (Easy), and creating rewarding experiences (Captivating).

The science of lasting change reveals that successful transformation isn't about having superior willpower or the right personality—it's about understanding and applying the psychological forces that drive all human behavior. By using the SCIENCE framework strategically, anyone can create changes that stick, whether they're trying to improve their own lives or help others transform theirs.

The most powerful insight is that different problems require different solutions, and the key is matching the right forces to the right type of behavior. This scientific approach to change has helped thousands of people overcome challenges that seemed impossible, from breaking digital addictions to building new careers. What changes in your life could benefit from understanding these forces, and how might you apply this knowledge to create the transformation you've been seeking?