Primal Leadership

Picture this scene: A division of the BBC was about to close. The first executive sent to deliver the news started with glowing accounts of rival operations and his wonderful trip to Cannes before announcing the closure. The staff became so enraged that security nearly had to escort him out. The next day, another executive visited the same group. He spoke from his heart about journalism's vital role in society, acknowledged their calling, and wished them well in their careers. When he finished, the staff cheered.

What made the difference? Both delivered the same devastating news, yet one created fury while the other inspired hope. The answer lies in a dimension of leadership that remains largely invisible yet determines whether everything else a leader does succeeds or fails. This is the realm of emotions and their contagious power in organizations. When leaders understand how to harness this primal force, they create resonance that unleashes people's best performance. When they ignore it, they spawn the kind of dissonance that can destroy even the most talented teams. The leaders who master this emotional dimension don't just manage—they truly lead, creating workplaces where people flourish and organizations thrive.

At a manufacturing plant, the top management team faced a crisis they couldn't seem to solve. Despite having brilliant minds and clear strategies, they remained paralyzed by indecision. Every time an urgent matter arose, they postponed making crucial calls, carefully avoiding topics where they disagreed. When they did reach tentative agreements in meetings, members would quietly sabotage the decisions afterward. The company fell further behind as competitors surged ahead.

The breakthrough came when they discovered their hidden reality: every single team member scored low on conflict management skills. They had unconsciously created a culture that avoided all disagreements, believing this would preserve harmony. Instead, it had trapped them in a prison of politeness that prevented honest dialogue about critical business issues. They had confused niceness with effectiveness, not realizing that healthy conflict about ideas sharpens decision-making and drives innovation.

This story illuminates a fundamental truth about leadership: emotions are not the enemy of rational business decisions—they are the invisible force that either enables or destroys them. Leaders who fail to recognize their team's emotional reality will find themselves fighting battles they cannot win, no matter how sound their strategies or how talented their people. The most successful leaders understand that managing emotions is not about suppressing feelings, but about creating the conditions where people feel safe to disagree, challenge ideas, and push toward breakthrough solutions.

When Mark Loehr, CEO of SoundView Technology, learned that friends and colleagues had perished in the September 11 tragedy, he faced a moment that would define his leadership. Rather than focusing solely on business continuity, he invited all employees to come to the office the next day—not to work, but to share their feelings and process what had happened. Over the following days, he was present as people grieved together. Every night at 9:45, he sent personal emails about the human side of the ongoing events.

But Loehr went further. He guided discussions about finding meaning in chaos through collective action. Instead of a simple group donation, they decided to donate their company's trading proceeds from one day to help victims. As word spread to clients about their intention, something remarkable happened: what might have been $500,000 became over $6 million raised in a single day. Loehr also asked employees to create a memory book of thoughts, fears, and hopes for future generations, which became a powerful outlet for healing.

This extraordinary response demonstrates the difference between resonance and dissonance in leadership. Resonant leaders like Loehr attune to their people's emotions and move them in positive directions, creating that magical synchrony where hearts and minds align. Dissonant leaders remain tone-deaf to emotional realities, inadvertently driving people toward frustration and disconnection. When leaders create resonance, you can see it in people's eyes—they're engaged, energized, and ready to give their best. This emotional attunement becomes the foundation upon which all other leadership skills can flourish.

Joan, the general manager of a struggling food and beverage division, faced a daunting challenge. Her division had missed profit targets for six years, most recently by $50 million. Morale was terrible, trust was broken, and she had a small window to demonstrate effective leadership. Her response showcased the fluid artistry of truly great leaders.

She began with the affiliative style, having lunch and dinner meetings with each team member individually. Rather than focusing on business problems, she explored their lives, dreams, and aspirations. She then shifted to coaching, helping a manager who struggled with team dynamics by agreeing to give him private feedback after meetings. During a three-day offsite, Joan employed the democratic style, encouraging everyone to express frustrations freely in what she called a cleansing session. As natural consensus emerged around priorities, she moved into the visionary mode, assigning accountability and painting a picture of their shared mission.

When implementation began, Joan occasionally used the commanding style for urgent follow-up, being what she called brutally focused on discipline. Throughout the process, she continued to lead primarily with vision, constantly reminding people how crucial their individual contributions were to the collective mission. Seven months later, her division was $5 million ahead of its yearly target—a $55 million turnaround from the previous year.

Joan's success illustrates why the best leaders don't rely on a single approach. Like a skilled musician with multiple instruments, they sense what each moment requires and respond accordingly. Some situations call for the democratic leader who builds consensus, others need the coaching leader who develops individual potential. The key is developing fluency across all styles and the emotional intelligence to know when each will create the resonance necessary for breakthrough performance.

Nick Mimken had been a star salesman at his insurance agency, consistently winning awards for his performance. But when he was promoted to head an agency with twenty-five direct reports, his success formula backfired spectacularly. His high-pressure, pacesetting approach that had worked brilliantly in sales created a demotivating environment for his team. The agency ranked in the bottom quartile of sales performance, and the atmosphere grew increasingly tense as deadlines loomed.

The transformation began when Nick embarked on the five discoveries of self-directed learning. First, he had to confront his ideal self—what kind of leader did he truly want to become? Then came the painful but necessary second discovery of his real self through 360-degree feedback, which revealed large gaps between his self-perception and how others experienced his leadership. The third discovery involved creating a learning agenda that built on his existing strengths in empathy and self-management while developing coaching and visionary capabilities.

The fourth discovery required Nick to practice new behaviors systematically. He began seizing opportunities for one-on-one coaching sessions, worked at managing his impulse to take over when impatient, and made sure to balance criticism with positive reinforcement. He found ways to frame the agency's goals in terms of shared values and vision. The fifth discovery was leveraging relationships—his wife became an informal coach, helping him become a better listener at home, which translated into improved skills at work.

Within three years, Nick's agency moved from the bottom to the top quartile in productivity, winning national awards for growth. His journey reveals that leadership development isn't about changing who you are—it's about becoming more of who you're capable of being. When leaders commit to this deep work of self-discovery and growth, they don't just transform their own effectiveness; they create ripple effects that elevate everyone around them.

At a major research hospital struggling with the pressures of healthcare reform, leaders initially tried to solve their problems through rational approaches—new software systems, outsourced functions, and reorganized structures. After two years of disappointing results and doubled turnover, they realized they had ignored the most crucial element: the emotional reality of their organization and the culture that held everything together.

The breakthrough came when leaders engaged in dynamic inquiry, creating safe spaces for staff to discuss not just what wasn't working, but how they felt about their work environment. What emerged was startling: despite being asked to do things in new ways, people believed the culture didn't actually support change, risk-taking, or learning. The confrontational way staff routinely treated each other often amounted to rudeness, leaving people defensive and demoralized. The atmosphere was rife with back-biting and petty warfare that undermined any positive change initiative.

By acknowledging these painful truths and creating venues for honest dialogue, hospital leadership began to shift the emotional climate. As conversations continued and management committed to making critical changes, staff started taking responsibility for their part in creating the new culture. Attendance at strategy meetings increased dramatically, and the atmosphere lightened as people began to feel heard and valued. Today, the institution has transformed itself with streamlined systems, reduced turnover, higher patient satisfaction, and resonance-building norms that continue to foster commitment and flexibility.

This hospital's transformation illustrates that building emotionally intelligent organizations requires leaders who are brave enough to surface uncomfortable truths while inspiring people with compelling visions of what's possible. When leaders create cultures where people feel safe to innovate, where their contributions are valued, and where they can connect their personal aspirations with organizational purpose, they unleash the collective energy needed to achieve extraordinary results.

These stories reveal a profound truth about human nature: we are wired to connect, and the quality of that connection determines everything else. When leaders understand that their primary task is managing the emotional reality of their organizations, they tap into the most powerful force for creating positive change. Whether it's helping teams face difficult truths, inspiring people through crisis, or building cultures where everyone can flourish, the leaders who matter most are those who lead with both competence and compassion.

The journey toward resonant leadership begins with a simple recognition—that feelings are not obstacles to overcome but the very medium through which great leadership operates. When you attune to the emotions around you, when you manage your own emotional responses with wisdom, and when you create environments where people feel truly seen and valued, you step into your power as a leader who can change everything. The world desperately needs more leaders who understand that the shortest distance between a good idea and great results is the human heart. Your next opportunity to practice this kind of leadership may be just around the corner.