One Decision

Have you ever felt completely paralyzed when facing a major life decision? Maybe you've spent sleepless nights weighing pros and cons, asking everyone for advice, yet still feeling more confused than when you started. You're not alone in this struggle. Research shows we make approximately 35,000 decisions daily, yet most of us never learned how to make them effectively, especially the ones that truly matter.

The difference between a life of fulfillment and one of regret often comes down to how we approach our most important choices. When we learn to make decisions from our most authentic self rather than from fear, obligation, or what others expect of us, everything changes. This isn't about making perfect decisions, it's about making decisions that align with who you truly are at your core. Your authentic self already knows what's right for you, and when you tap into that wisdom, you'll discover a clarity and confidence you may have never experienced before.

The journey toward a better life begins with one fundamental realization: you already possess everything you need to make decisions that serve your highest good. Your authentic self, what we call your Best Self, is not some idealized version of who you think you should be. It's the real you, stripped of societal expectations, fear-based thinking, and the need to please others.

Think about the three most authentic decisions you've ever made in your life. These might include choosing your career path, ending or beginning a relationship, or deciding to prioritize your health. When you reflect on these moments, you'll notice they shared something in common: they felt right at a soul level, even if they were difficult or scary at the time.

Consider Sarah, a successful marketing executive who spent years climbing the corporate ladder, achieving everything society told her would make her happy. Despite her external success, she felt empty and disconnected from her true purpose. The turning point came when she stopped asking "What should I do?" and started asking "Who am I, and what would feel authentic to me?" This shift in perspective led her to leave her high-paying job to become a teacher, a decision that initially seemed crazy to everyone around her but felt completely aligned with her values.

To begin making decisions from your authentic self, start by identifying your core values and the moments when you feel most alive and genuine. Pay attention to the decisions that energize you versus those that drain you. Create space for quiet reflection, whether through meditation, journaling, or simply walking in nature. When faced with a choice, ask yourself: "Which option allows me to be most true to who I am?" Your authentic self will always guide you toward decisions that create genuine fulfillment rather than temporary satisfaction.

Every decision you make is influenced by invisible mental patterns that either help you see opportunities or trap you in obstacles. These patterns, which form what we call the FORCE, operate like software running in the background of your mind, shaping how you perceive every situation that comes your way.

The FORCE consists of five key mental patterns: Fortune-telling versus Fact-finding, Overgeneralizing versus Objective thinking, Rigid mindset versus Relaxed mindset, Confused purpose versus Clarified purpose, and Emotional reasoning versus Evidence-based reasoning. When you operate from the negative side of these patterns, you automatically see obstacles everywhere, making decisions from a place of limitation and fear.

Mike, a personal trainer, discovered how fortune-telling was sabotaging his financial success. For years, he charged significantly less than his worth because he predicted his clients would reject higher prices. He created elaborate stories in his mind about how people would react, without ever testing these assumptions. When he finally shifted to fact-finding, he realized he had seventeen years of specialized experience working with mental health populations, making him uniquely valuable. He gathered evidence of his expertise rather than operating from imaginary scenarios.

To harness the positive FORCE in your own life, become aware of which negative patterns you default to when facing decisions. When you catch yourself fortune-telling, pause and ask: "What are the actual facts here?" When overgeneralizing from one bad experience, remind yourself to look at the bigger picture objectively. Replace rigid thinking with flexibility, confused purpose with clear intention, and emotional reactions with evidence-based reasoning. This shift in mental patterns will transform how you see every situation, revealing opportunities where you once saw only problems.

No one achieves greatness in isolation, and making life-changing decisions is no exception. The most successful people surround themselves with a carefully chosen team of advisors, mentors, and supporters who help them see their blind spots and stay aligned with their authentic selves. Your decision-making team serves as both a compass and a safety net as you navigate important life choices.

Your team should include people who play different roles: the Sounding Board who listens without judgment, the Visionary who sees your potential even when you can't, the Motivator who pushes you to take action, the Nurturer who supports you through difficult outcomes, and the Wise Counsel who offers perspective from experience. Each person brings unique strengths that complement your own.

Deacon's story illustrates the transformative power of choosing the right team. Growing up in poverty with drug-addicted parents, he could have easily continued the cycle of dysfunction. Instead, he consciously sought out role models who embodied the qualities he wanted to develop. He studied the habits and mindsets of nurses, bartenders, and other ordinary people who demonstrated kindness, work ethic, and resilience. These relationships became his informal advisory board, helping him make decisions that led him from homelessness to six-figure success and genuine happiness.

Building your team requires intentionality and reciprocity. Identify people in your life who genuinely know and support your authentic self, not just those who tell you what you want to hear. Seek out individuals whose wisdom you respect and who have walked paths similar to where you want to go. Remember that being a good team member yourself attracts quality people to your circle. Offer support, show genuine interest in others' growth, and be willing to have honest conversations about difficult topics.

Knowledge without action remains powerless, and authentic decision-making means nothing if you don't follow through with concrete steps. Taking action as your Best Self requires courage, but it also requires strategy. The gap between knowing what you should do and actually doing it is where most people get stuck, often because they lack a clear system for translating decisions into sustainable behavior changes.

The key to successful action lies in identifying both what you need to stop doing and what you need to start doing. Old patterns and habits often work against new decisions, creating internal conflict that sabotages your progress. By consciously replacing limiting behaviors with empowering ones, you create momentum that makes change feel natural rather than forced.

Austin exemplified this principle when he realized his seven-year career in furniture sales was draining his life force. Instead of continuing to make excuses about being too tired for change, he identified the specific behaviors keeping him stuck: prioritizing comfort over growth, avoiding difficult conversations about his future, and using his gym routine and social life as escape mechanisms rather than addressing his career dissatisfaction. He then replaced these patterns with therapy, career exploration, and honest conversations with mentors.

Your action plan should include three elements: stopping behaviors that no longer serve you, starting new behaviors that align with your authentic self, and enlisting your team for accountability and support. Break down large decisions into smaller, manageable steps that you can take immediately. Remember that action creates clarity, not the other way around. You don't need to see the entire staircase to take the first step. Trust that as you begin moving in alignment with your authentic self, the universe will respond by opening doors and creating opportunities you cannot currently imagine.

The path to a better life isn't found in making perfect decisions, but in making authentic ones. When you align your choices with your true self rather than external expectations or fear-based thinking, you access a wellspring of clarity and confidence that guides you toward genuine fulfillment. As this journey has shown us, "The decision to be authentic is the most important decision in our lives, but it's not one we make only once; to stay authentic, we have to do it over and over again."

Your transformation begins the moment you decide to trust your authentic self and take that first step forward. Stop waiting for certainty or permission from others. Start by making one decision today that honors who you truly are, then take one concrete action to bring that decision to life. Remember, you are one decision away from allowing the universe to deliver the life you're meant to live.