Feeding the Soul (Because It's My Business)

Have you ever felt like you're living someone else's life? Like you're wearing a mask so tight it's suffocating your true self? This struggle with authenticity isn't uncommon – millions of people wake up each day feeling disconnected from who they really are, desperately seeking approval from others while losing themselves in the process. The pressure to conform, to fit into prescribed molds, often leaves us spiritually hungry and emotionally exhausted.

This journey toward authentic living isn't just about self-acceptance; it's about nourishing your soul with the kind of love, compassion, and truth that transforms not only your own life but radiates outward to heal your relationships and community. Through raw storytelling and hard-earned wisdom, we discover that the path to freedom begins with the courage to embrace exactly who we are – flaws, dreams, accent, and all. The pages ahead offer more than inspiration; they provide a roadmap for anyone ready to shed the layers of expectation and step boldly into their own beautiful, imperfect, completely authentic life.

Growing up in Eden, North Carolina, there was something special about the way stories were told around the dinner table. The elders in the community had this gift of weaving life lessons into everyday conversations, and young Tabitha soaked up every word. She was the joke teller at family cookouts, armed with a joke book her daddy bought her in third grade, making relatives laugh until they cried. But there was another gift she carried – one that frightened her for years.

The visions started early. At six years old, she dreamed of getting stuck in automatic sliding doors at the grocery store, only to have that exact scenario play out days later. These prophetic dreams continued throughout her childhood, but she kept them secret, afraid people would think she was crazy. It wasn't until she moved to Los Angeles that the gift became impossible to ignore. During a casual outing with a neighbor, she suddenly saw a vision of the woman's deceased partner – information she had no way of knowing. When the neighbor confirmed the truth moments later, Tabitha realized she could no longer run from who she was meant to be.

Years later, when her mother was dying, their final conversations revealed the generational nature of this gift. Her mother had seen things too, and she encouraged Tabitha to find a mentor, to embrace what God had trusted her with rather than fear it. The breakthrough came when Tabitha stopped trying to hide her true self to fit Hollywood's expectations. She learned that the very things that made her different – her accent, her spiritual gifts, her authentic way of being – were exactly what the world needed.

The profound truth here is that our gifts, no matter how unusual or misunderstood, are not accidents. They're divine appointments waiting for the right moment to serve their purpose. When we spend energy trying to convince others to see our vision or understand our calling, we waste precious time that could be spent nurturing and developing what we've been given. Your authentic voice, with all its unique qualities, isn't meant to be dimmed for others' comfort – it's meant to shine exactly as it is.

The year 2016 brought an unexpected teacher into Tabitha's life: chronic pain. After a car accident in high school that damaged her neck and spine, she'd lived with intermittent pain for decades. But this was different. A crushing headache settled into the back of her skull and refused to leave for seventeen months. Doctor after doctor ran tests, finding nothing conclusive. The pain was real, debilitating, and seemingly without cause or cure.

During this dark period, depression crept in like a thief. The vibrant woman who had chased her dreams across the country found herself barely able to function. She hid the extent of her suffering from her family, not wanting to burden her husband or worry her children. The weight of pretending to be okay while falling apart inside became almost unbearable. It was her daughter Choyce who saw through the facade, asking with the wisdom of a fourteen-year-old, "Mommy, are you okay?" The question pierced through all the pretense.

The turning point came through a Netflix documentary and a thirty-day vegan challenge she proposed to her family. Within ten days of changing her diet, the chronic headache that had tormented her for over a year simply vanished. By week three, she felt more energetic than she had in two years. Her family completed the thirty-day challenge but went back to their previous eating habits. Tabitha, however, had found her path to healing and wasn't turning back, even if it meant walking it alone.

The deeper healing wasn't just physical – it was spiritual and emotional. As she nourished her body with plant-based foods, she began to nourish her soul with self-compassion. She realized that for twenty years, she had terrorized her body with diet pills and extreme measures to fit an image that wasn't hers. The illness had been her body's way of saying "no more." Self-love, it turned out, wasn't selfish – it was the foundation for everything else. When we truly love ourselves, we make choices that honor our wellbeing, and that love naturally extends to others, creating ripples of healing that reach far beyond our own lives.

Sunday dinners in Los Angeles became sacred gatherings. In their small Baldwin Hills apartment, Tabitha would cook elaborate Southern meals for their found family – fellow actors and dreamers who had left their blood relatives across the country to chase their Hollywood dreams. These weren't just meals; they were acts of love that created bonds stronger than blood. People would bring dishes, share stories, and find the sense of belonging that every human heart craves.

This village became essential when life took unexpected turns. When Tabitha's mother fell ill with ALS, requiring extended care back in North Carolina, their Los Angeles family stepped in without question. They helped Chance care for their young daughter, providing the support system that made an impossible situation manageable. These friends didn't just offer practical help – they offered their hearts, proving that family isn't always about shared DNA; sometimes it's about shared love and commitment.

But building authentic community required something challenging: learning to show up as her real self. For too long, Tabitha had contorted herself to make others comfortable, dimming her light and hiding her accent to fit in. The illness became a turning point where she decided that if God gave her another chance, she would live authentically, regardless of who was uncomfortable with her truth. When she made this commitment, something beautiful happened – people were drawn to her authenticity rather than repelled by it.

The most profound relationships aren't built on our ability to blend in or be who others want us to be. They're forged when we have the courage to show up completely as ourselves and create space for others to do the same. Real community happens when we stop performing and start being, when we choose vulnerability over perfection, and when we understand that our authentic selves are not just enough – they're exactly what the world needs. In a culture obsessed with image and performance, the revolutionary act of simply being yourself becomes a beacon for others seeking the same freedom.

The phone call came at one in the morning, jolting Tabitha awake during her first semester at fashion design school in Miami. Despite everything going well in her classes, something in her spirit was restless. That night, the knowing became undeniable – she was supposed to be acting, not designing clothes. Without hesitation, she called her daddy. "You need to come get me," she said. "I'm wasting your money down here. I'm supposed to be acting." True to form, he drove fourteen hours to pick up his determined daughter.

The path from that midnight revelation to Hollywood success wasn't linear. There was the Columbia College dream that fell through due to financial aid complications, leading to a disastrous first attempt at California living in Orange County. Then five years in North Carolina, where she got married, had a daughter, and almost convinced herself that small-town life was enough. But God had other plans, literally waking her up one morning with words that thundered through her spirit: "This is not the life I planned for you."

When the second chance at Los Angeles finally came, it looked nothing like her original vision. Instead of immediate stardom, there were years of $10-an-hour jobs, acting classes, and roles that didn't pay. Twenty-three years of persistence, learning, and growing. The breakthrough finally came not through traditional channels but through cooking videos shared on social media – a platform that didn't even exist when she first started chasing her dreams.

The most liberating realization was that there's no single "right" way to achieve your dreams. While others followed traditional paths, Tabitha's route included detours through call centers, nursing homes, and kitchens. Each experience, even the seemingly unrelated ones, became preparation for what was to come. The woman who could comfort strangers with her videos had learned empathy caring for elderly patients. The actress who could authentically portray real people had lived real life, with all its struggles and triumphs. Sometimes the scenic route isn't a delay – it's divine preparation for a destiny too beautiful to have been imagined any other way.

Standing on the balcony of a luxury home in View Park, preparing to host a TEDx event, Tabitha could see her past clearly. Across the street stood the blue Baldwin Hills apartment building where she, Chance, and baby Choyce had lived when they first arrived in Los Angeles with big dreams and small bank accounts. The physical distance between those two points was only a few hundred yards, but the journey had been decades in the making. In that moment, overwhelmed by the goodness of God, she was struck not by how far she'd traveled, but by how faithful the journey had been.

Gratitude became her daily practice, not because life was suddenly perfect, but because she understood how easily it could have gone differently. The pain that nearly broke her had become the pathway to her healing. The years of rejection and small roles had built the character needed for larger stages. Even the financial struggles that once kept them up at night had taught them the value of every blessing, ensuring they'd never take abundance for granted.

This perspective transformed everything – her relationship with her family, her approach to work, her daily interactions with strangers. When you truly grasp how precarious and precious life is, complaints become prayers of thanksgiving. Challenges become opportunities to grow stronger. Other people's success becomes cause for celebration rather than comparison. She learned to find reasons to celebrate in ordinary moments, knowing that what feels commonplace today might be tomorrow's precious memory.

The secret to sustainable joy isn't found in achieving all your dreams – it's discovered in appreciating the journey while you're still on it. Gratitude isn't just an attitude; it's a spiritual practice that transforms the grateful person from the inside out. When we consistently acknowledge the good in our lives, we train our hearts to see abundance even in seasons of lack, to find hope even in moments of despair. This isn't naive optimism; it's mature wisdom that understands every day above ground is a gift, every relationship is temporary, and every moment is an opportunity to love more deeply.

Through the winding journey from small-town North Carolina to Hollywood dreams fulfilled, we witness the profound transformation that occurs when someone chooses authenticity over acceptance, purpose over perfection. The stories woven throughout this narrative reveal a universal truth: the very qualities that make us different, the gifts that feel too strange to share, the paths that seem unconventional – these are often the exact tools needed to fulfill our deepest purpose and serve others in ways we never imagined possible.

The thread connecting each chapter is the revolutionary act of self-acceptance – not the kind that settles for less, but the kind that demands we show up fully as who we were created to be. Whether it's embracing spiritual gifts others might not understand, choosing health over appearance, building authentic community, or finding unique routes to our dreams, the invitation remains constant: trust yourself enough to be yourself, and trust that your authentic self is exactly what the world needs. In a culture that profits from our insecurities and thrives on our conformity, the simple act of loving ourselves completely becomes both personal liberation and a gift to everyone whose life we touch.