Everyone Deserves a Great Manager

Picture this: you've just been promoted to your first leadership role, and suddenly you're responsible for a team of people who were your peers just yesterday. The excitement quickly turns to anxiety as you realize you have no idea how to conduct effective one-on-ones, give constructive feedback, or help your team navigate through organizational changes. You're not alone in this struggle. Research shows that most people take on their first leadership role at age thirty but don't receive formal leadership training until they're forty-two. That's over a decade of learning through trial and error, often at the expense of both your team's performance and your own confidence.

The truth is, becoming a great manager isn't about having all the answers or being perfect from day one. It's about developing the right mindset and mastering a set of critical practices that can transform both your effectiveness as a leader and your team's engagement. Whether you're a brand-new manager feeling overwhelmed by your responsibilities, or an experienced leader looking to refine your approach, the journey to becoming the manager your team deserves starts with understanding that leadership is fundamentally about serving others and helping them succeed.

The most crucial shift you'll make as a new leader happens not in what you do, but in how you think. Moving from individual contributor to manager requires a fundamental paradigm shift from achieving results on your own to achieving results with and through others. This mental transformation is often the most challenging aspect of leadership because it requires you to let go of the skills and habits that made you successful in your previous role.

Consider the story of Carolyn, a record-setting salesperson who was promoted to sales manager. When her team struggled during client meetings, she would immediately jump in and close the deals herself, thinking she was helping. While she saved individual sales, she prevented her team from developing their own skills and confidence. Her team began to rely on her rescues rather than growing their capabilities. Carolyn was still operating with an individual contributor mindset, using her personal expertise rather than developing others. The breakthrough came when she realized her new role wasn't about her hitting the numbers anymore, it was about her team hitting the numbers collectively.

To make this mindset shift successfully, start by examining your current paradigms about leadership and teamwork. Ask yourself what beliefs you hold about each team member and whether these beliefs are accurate or limiting their potential. Practice the "see-do-get" cycle by first changing how you see your role as a leader, which will naturally change your behaviors, leading to different results. Instead of being the person with all the answers, become the person who helps others find the answers. Rather than doing the work yourself when problems arise, coach your team through the challenges so they can handle similar situations independently in the future.

Remember that your legacy as a leader won't be measured by the quarterly targets you personally achieved, but by the lives you influenced and the careers you helped grow. This perspective shift from focusing on your individual success to focusing on your team's collective success and development is the foundation of all effective leadership. When you truly embrace that your people are your results, everything else about leadership becomes clearer and more purposeful.

One-on-one meetings represent your most powerful tool for creating employee engagement, yet most managers either skip them entirely or turn them into boring status updates. The key insight is that people don't quit their jobs because of compensation; they quit their managers or the culture. Your regular one-on-ones become the primary vehicle for creating the conditions where people choose to be engaged rather than just compliant.

Take the case of Joanna, a superstar project manager who worked remotely and consistently delivered excellent results. Despite her strong performance, she suddenly gave two weeks' notice, leaving her manager completely blindsided. During the exit conversation, Joanna revealed that while her manager was "a good guy," their brief check-ins focused only on project status and deadlines. She felt disconnected and undervalued as a person, not just a task-completing machine. When she moved to a different team with a leader who held meaningful one-on-ones, asking about her challenges, interests, and career aspirations, Joanna flourished and became even more productive. The difference wasn't in the work itself, but in feeling seen and valued as a whole person.

To conduct effective one-on-ones, start by scheduling them as recurring thirty-minute appointments and protecting that time religiously. Canceling these meetings sends a clear message that your team members aren't a priority. Prepare by creating an agenda that focuses on their needs, not yours, and come with coaching questions rather than status updates. Practice empathic listening by truly hearing what they're saying, both verbally and emotionally. Ask questions like "What's your biggest challenge right now?" or "What would you like to see change?" Instead of immediately solving their problems, help them work through solutions themselves.

The magic happens when you shift from monitoring your team's progress to coaching their development. End each session by reviewing action items and commitments, both yours and theirs, and follow through consistently. Your one-on-ones should feel like a safe space where people can share concerns, explore ideas, and receive support for their growth. When done well, these meetings become the cornerstone of trust and engagement that transforms your entire team culture.

The transition from telling people exactly what to do to helping them understand the "why" behind their work represents a fundamental shift in leadership approach. When you micromanage or do the work yourself because it's faster, you might achieve short-term results but you'll sacrifice long-term team capability and engagement. True leadership means setting up systems and clarity that allow your team to succeed independently while still feeling supported.

Consider the hotel example where experienced waitstaff would carefully set VIP tables, only to have multiple layers of management come by and adjust their work. The supervisor would reposition a champagne flute, the assistant manager would refold a napkin, and the general manager would rearrange the centerpiece. While each manager thought they were ensuring perfection, they actually taught their staff that their work wasn't trusted or valued. The team learned to stop trying to get things right because management would override their efforts anyway. This seemingly small pattern of behavior created disengagement and resentment throughout the staff.

Begin by aligning your team's goals with organizational priorities through regular conversations with your own manager. Choose no more than three measurable goals at a time, using the "from X to Y by when" format to create clarity and accountability. Create visible scoreboards that track progress and make winning feel tangible and achievable. Hold brief weekly accountability meetings where team members report on their commitments and make new ones, focusing solely on moving the metrics forward.

Master the art of delegation by clearly defining projects before assigning them, choosing the right person based on their skills and development needs, and setting clear expectations about outcomes rather than methods. Provide support without micromanaging, creating a "pre-forgiveness" culture where people feel safe to make mistakes and learn from them. Remember that your job is to work both in the system, handling daily operations, and on the system, building long-term capability and strategic direction. When you successfully set up your team for results, you create an environment where people feel empowered, capable, and motivated to excel.

Feedback represents one of the greatest gifts you can give another human being, yet it's often the leadership skill that causes the most anxiety and avoidance. The key is shifting from seeing feedback as a way to fix people's problems to viewing it as a tool for elevating your entire team's performance. This mindset change transforms feedback from a dreaded confrontation into a valuable coaching conversation that builds trust and capability.

Remember Scott's experience as a waiter who had developed an efficient but selfish system for serving his tables quickly, leaving chaos in the kitchen for his coworkers. When his friend became the manager, he sat Scott down and said, "I need to see a marked improvement in your teamwork," then handed him an index card with those exact words written on it. While the manager had the courage to address the issue, his approach lacked the consideration and skill needed to make the feedback truly effective. The message was clear, but the delivery created defensiveness rather than understanding.

For reinforcing feedback, focus on specific behaviors and their impact rather than generic praise. Instead of saying "great job," try "When you reorganized the data-gathering process, you simplified a confusing system that was frustrating everyone. Look for more opportunities like this." Connect the behavior to the person's intrinsic motivations and career goals, showing how their good work helps them grow. For redirecting feedback, prepare carefully by identifying specific observable behaviors and their consequences, then approach the conversation with both courage and consideration.

The art of feedback lies in creating psychological safety while maintaining high standards. Start redirecting conversations by stating your intent to help them succeed, then describe what you've observed and ask for their perspective. Help them develop action plans rather than imposing solutions, and follow up consistently to support their growth. Don't forget to seek feedback about yourself from your team members, modeling the vulnerability and openness you want them to demonstrate. When you create a culture where feedback flows freely in all directions, you build a team that continuously improves and supports each other's success.

Change is inevitable in today's workplace, but most managers fail to realize that their response to change will largely determine their team's ability to adapt and thrive. The key insight is that people don't resist change itself; they resist being changed without understanding or having input into the process. Your role as a leader is not to control and contain change for your team, but to champion change with them, helping them navigate the emotional journey from disruption to better performance.

Consider Paul, a first-level leader who was struggling with a new onboarding process that he felt made his team's work unnecessarily complicated. Rather than complaining or passively resisting, Paul had the courage to approach his CEO privately and say, "I want my team to know I'm completely supportive of this new process, but to be honest, I'm not there yet. I'm sure I can get there with a better understanding of why we're doing it this way. Would you be willing to share how we decided on this approach?" After that transparent conversation, Paul not only understood the reasoning behind the change but could effectively implement it and help other leaders with similar concerns. His willingness to seek understanding rather than resist earned him significant respect and influence.

Understanding the four zones of change helps you guide your team through the emotional journey. Start in the Status Quo by preparing your team for changes before they happen, creating psychological readiness rather than shock. When moving through Disruption, communicate clearly and frequently, acknowledge emotions, and focus on what people can control. Use "we" language rather than "them" language to maintain unity, and be specific about how the change affects your team personally.

During the Adoption phase, reset expectations, focus on what matters most, and create early wins to maintain momentum. Learn from mistakes together and celebrate progress, no matter how small. Finally, in Better Performance, seek feedback on your change leadership, assess lessons learned, and build capability for future changes. Remember that successful change leadership requires managing both the practical and emotional aspects of transition, helping your team not just survive change but emerge stronger and more resilient.

Becoming a great manager isn't about perfection or having all the answers from day one. It's about embracing a fundamental truth that should guide every leadership decision you make: your people are your results. As one wise leader observed, "Ten years from now, no one will remember if you met your second-quarter targets, but your legacy will be the lives you influenced and the careers you grew." This perspective transforms leadership from a burden of responsibility into an opportunity for profound impact.

The six critical practices work together to create a leadership approach that serves both results and relationships. When you develop the right mindset, hold meaningful one-on-ones, set up your team for success, create a feedback-rich culture, lead change effectively, and manage your energy, you create conditions where people choose engagement over compliance. The most rewarding aspect of leadership isn't the recognition or advancement it might bring you, but the moment when a former team member tells you years later how your belief in them changed the trajectory of their career. Start today by choosing one practice to focus on, schedule it in your calendar, and begin the journey of becoming the manager your team deserves.